MAKING IT BIGGER

OK so 2011 was a year of home truths and honesty, of no longer hiding behind my excuses and making a change and I have to give my self some credit I lost weight 15kgs to be honest however during the last week of the program my body wasn't feeling right and I found out I was pregnant??? What the I wasn't planning on it however it just happened however a few days after finding out and planning to tell family I had a miscarriage...BUGGER! not again I said to myself, why me....What have I done so wrong that has taken me through so many heart breaks 8 to be honest over the last 12years. I started to fall into an emotional pit that seemed so deep there was no way of getting out. Just when I was felling sorry for myself  I started to remember the times, money and effort that was put in over the 12 weeks and 

 that reminded me that I had said "I was worth the effort".

SO I PICK MY SELF UP (after a naughty Christmas & New Years & Birthday weekend) AND MOVE ON...

I attended my 1st Pain in the Park (the day afte my birthday where I ate to much cake) and all I can say is OMG well that's what I said through most of the training session "yes I was the winger in the group". TO be honest I couldn't finish the circuit training. I had never done that type of training before and I felt that I was going to puke as well as fall flat on my face cause I was so dizzy... Then the tears started and while I was crying I was trying to just say JFDI in my head but all that emotional shit I dealt with over Christmas came pouring out of my eyes...I now understand that I emotinaly wasn't ready and I was worried about sharing to much about me to people I didn't know very well YET!!! IT was a little awkard talking to people about my personal dissopointments How much is to much?

However I will be back that wont stop me! In the past I would have just walked away from the program the training gotten in my car and said NO THANKS don't want to deal with me or my issues however last year made me a stronger person some one who will no longer just give up. I stayed talked about it a little to my fellow 12wbt champs and promised to be back again. I wanna train harder this round and push my self like never before. SO I did something I wouldn't have done last round and that was join a walking group in the Nepean. Well to be honest we came from all over but it was so lovely to walk with some amazing ladies with so many different life experiences and

some that are just starting there 12wbt journey....

I'm looking forward to moving onward and up ward with you all this year!!!